I love giving thanks for what I have, and who I have. Here's some thanks:
Thank you to my mother-in-law, who has always been there for us, and continues to do so, when we need her financially. There have been many occasions in which we would be homeless and hungry without her.
Thank you to my mom and dad who love us, who are there for us, and watch our kids when we need a breather.
Thank you to Lissa and Terry for the car, and the computers, and all the other help you continually supply, even though I know you are only a few steps ahead of me.
Thank you Cody, for always being there to cheer me up.
Thank you Chris for always being there for Eric.Of course, thank God for Scott, who, even though we havn't seen each other much in the last five years, is willing to help us by providing us shelter durring a very tumunctuas time in our lives.
Thank you to everyone in my life whom I haven't mentioned here. I am truely forever grateful for everything everyone has done for me and my family over the years, and I wouldn't be here today without all of you.
I love you all, and I will always pay it foreward. Someday, I plan to pay everyone back for the kindness they have shown me.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Returning to the Simple Life
Back before I was married and had children I thought that the only way to get by in life was to have a good education. So I got a student loan and started taking classes. After marriage, and while I was pregnant with my second cild, I went back again. A couple years later, I tried to send my husband to some classes. Then we got a credit card... and the rest is history.
Like many others at this point in time, I have been running from debts. Debts which are ignored, and ran from always come back at an inconvenient time.
My husband was laid-off a few weeks ago, and denied entry into the army because he is in somewhat poor health (he is, by army standards, old and has bad teeth). This has put a lot of stress on our relationship. My job stresses me out sometimes so badly that I seem to be having stomach problems. It is coming to a point where our futures are looking a little bleak.
Fortunately, at least in some ways, my father in law has been having some problems as well.
It seems the water-pump for one of the houses on his property has gone out, and there is no water in it. Because of this (along with a lot of other drama that we won't get in to) my husband's sister, who had run up a $400 dollar electricity bill, moved out and left him with an empty house, the bill and a female dog which has not been fixed.
On Saturday, Eric spoke with him, learned of his problems, and it was decided that we would move in with him, at least for a while, and help each other get back on our feet. We will be either fixing or replacing the pump, but until then baths, laundry and the like will have to be at his house (a two-story farm house with some interesting history and even more interesting archetecture--if you can call it that) and we will have to drink and cook with bottled water.
So, in mid-October (we are thinking the weekendd of the 10th) we will be moving to Calhan, CO, about 45 minutes from The Springs out on the Great Planes. We will be living with about twelve dogs (two dogs and their 10 puppies), but that is a good thing, because apparently there is a badger, and there has always been coyotes out there.
I mean, we are living in the middle of NOWHERE! I am so excited! The nearest towns are teeny-weeny, and 15 minutes away. We will be gardening, raising chickens and cows, and shootin' critters with ar 20 gauge, YEEHAW! And for anyone reading this who thinks I can't take it, go to Hell. I have raised chickens, and gardened before. I already know what it is like to pluck a chicken (can't say I am really looking foreward to THAT little bit), and I already know not to let my children out at night (coyotes, badgers, DUH). I also know that there will be a lot of hard work and surprises as well.
I am still excited.
I am INCREADIBLY excited for my husband. I just love listening to him and his father talking. I don't think I ever hear him have more adult, mature and natural conversation with anyone other than me and his father. They were talking about all their plans to update and improve the farm, and ideas to make it a little more homey as well. They talked about working on cars, and building greenhouses and fixing the garage and patching holes left in the walls by prior "tennants".
We also have a financial plan which we have started putting in to action already. We created this plan BEFORE the whole Calhan thing.
Step one was to minimalize as much as we could (this meant, at the time, attempting to get in to a low-income apartment, and getting on food stamps--there wasn't much lower for us to go from our current possition--now we will be living rent free for a little while, and then at a kind of sliding scale after that).
Step two: working with the money we have coming in (which is not much) begin saving a small $500 rainy-day fund.
Step two point five:Make more money!!!!! (I know that everyone has this ambition, however all I want is enough to be able to live comfortably while putting my plan into action)
Step three: working with the money we already have coming in (still, not much) start chipping away at the old unpaind, ran-from bills. STOP RUNNING, START FIGHTING!!!
Step three point five: Make more MONEY!!!
Step four: Do an actual rainy-day fund. You know, the three-six month rainy day fund all financial experts suggest. You may have heard of this system, Dave Ramsey is its spokesperson (I suggest you take a look).
Through this whole thing, I hope to stop just getting by, and to start living. My last 24 years have been all about learning to survive, now it's time to learn to live.
We can do this, I know, and with the help of our families (including the members we are leaving in Montrose) I know we can do this.
I have my fears, naturally, about the whole thing (especially the badger-what if it's rabid, eek!), but I know this is a good thing.
Like many others at this point in time, I have been running from debts. Debts which are ignored, and ran from always come back at an inconvenient time.
My husband was laid-off a few weeks ago, and denied entry into the army because he is in somewhat poor health (he is, by army standards, old and has bad teeth). This has put a lot of stress on our relationship. My job stresses me out sometimes so badly that I seem to be having stomach problems. It is coming to a point where our futures are looking a little bleak.
Fortunately, at least in some ways, my father in law has been having some problems as well.
It seems the water-pump for one of the houses on his property has gone out, and there is no water in it. Because of this (along with a lot of other drama that we won't get in to) my husband's sister, who had run up a $400 dollar electricity bill, moved out and left him with an empty house, the bill and a female dog which has not been fixed.
On Saturday, Eric spoke with him, learned of his problems, and it was decided that we would move in with him, at least for a while, and help each other get back on our feet. We will be either fixing or replacing the pump, but until then baths, laundry and the like will have to be at his house (a two-story farm house with some interesting history and even more interesting archetecture--if you can call it that) and we will have to drink and cook with bottled water.
So, in mid-October (we are thinking the weekendd of the 10th) we will be moving to Calhan, CO, about 45 minutes from The Springs out on the Great Planes. We will be living with about twelve dogs (two dogs and their 10 puppies), but that is a good thing, because apparently there is a badger, and there has always been coyotes out there.
I mean, we are living in the middle of NOWHERE! I am so excited! The nearest towns are teeny-weeny, and 15 minutes away. We will be gardening, raising chickens and cows, and shootin' critters with ar 20 gauge, YEEHAW! And for anyone reading this who thinks I can't take it, go to Hell. I have raised chickens, and gardened before. I already know what it is like to pluck a chicken (can't say I am really looking foreward to THAT little bit), and I already know not to let my children out at night (coyotes, badgers, DUH). I also know that there will be a lot of hard work and surprises as well.
I am still excited.
I am INCREADIBLY excited for my husband. I just love listening to him and his father talking. I don't think I ever hear him have more adult, mature and natural conversation with anyone other than me and his father. They were talking about all their plans to update and improve the farm, and ideas to make it a little more homey as well. They talked about working on cars, and building greenhouses and fixing the garage and patching holes left in the walls by prior "tennants".
We also have a financial plan which we have started putting in to action already. We created this plan BEFORE the whole Calhan thing.
Step one was to minimalize as much as we could (this meant, at the time, attempting to get in to a low-income apartment, and getting on food stamps--there wasn't much lower for us to go from our current possition--now we will be living rent free for a little while, and then at a kind of sliding scale after that).
Step two: working with the money we have coming in (which is not much) begin saving a small $500 rainy-day fund.
Step two point five:Make more money!!!!! (I know that everyone has this ambition, however all I want is enough to be able to live comfortably while putting my plan into action)
Step three: working with the money we already have coming in (still, not much) start chipping away at the old unpaind, ran-from bills. STOP RUNNING, START FIGHTING!!!
Step three point five: Make more MONEY!!!
Step four: Do an actual rainy-day fund. You know, the three-six month rainy day fund all financial experts suggest. You may have heard of this system, Dave Ramsey is its spokesperson (I suggest you take a look).
Through this whole thing, I hope to stop just getting by, and to start living. My last 24 years have been all about learning to survive, now it's time to learn to live.
We can do this, I know, and with the help of our families (including the members we are leaving in Montrose) I know we can do this.
I have my fears, naturally, about the whole thing (especially the badger-what if it's rabid, eek!), but I know this is a good thing.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Set Back
I lost my keys about a week and a half ago. I tore my apartment apart every day to try and find them. I checked all the places that they may have been, and looked under, behind and inside furniture, all to no avail.
On Saturday I was doing my laundry, and I heard a jingle. I checked the pockets of my shorts and found the keys I had been looking for all week. After a little song and dance (my life is a musical) I invited my children to walk joyously to the mail box to check the mail for the first time in almost two weeks.
My jovial mood was quickly crushed, however, when I saw a letter in the mail from the Department of Defense.
My husband was just finishing shaving, and beginning to get himself dressed when I somberly came in to our bedroom to give him the message. He asked me to read it to him. It said that the department was sorry, but he was permanently disqualified from the military because he has very bad teeth.
I was a little upset because my husband was going to be heading to Denver the next day (yesterday) to go back to MEPS and finish his physical.
“If Sgt. Miller is sending you back to Denver, and causing you at least half a week of missed work for nothing and he knows it he has a lot of explaining to do!” I declared.
He gave Sgt. Miller a call, and after Eric told him about the letter he just laughed it off.
“Oh don’t worry about that.” He said. “That’s why the physical has to be sent to a Surgeon General.”
Yesterday, Eric went to Denver to try to get a waiver. He will be gone until tomorrow at the earliest. He may not be home until Thursday.
Lord, I know he is scared, and worried. He has told me so on many occasions over the weekend. Please help him to stay calm and not to stress. I know that our lives are changing, and that our callings are calling, and that this is just one of the steps towards the new life we will be living. I know that the chances are becoming slimmer and slimmer that my husband will be in the army, but I know that if this is his purpose it will all work out.
We knew from the beginning that this would not be easy. No life changing decisions ever are easy, possibly simple but never easy. Thank you, Lord, for his persistence, and his courage to try so hard to accomplish this. Thank you for the courage he has shown in making this decision, which we know will cause him a lot of discomfort.
On Saturday I was doing my laundry, and I heard a jingle. I checked the pockets of my shorts and found the keys I had been looking for all week. After a little song and dance (my life is a musical) I invited my children to walk joyously to the mail box to check the mail for the first time in almost two weeks.
My jovial mood was quickly crushed, however, when I saw a letter in the mail from the Department of Defense.
My husband was just finishing shaving, and beginning to get himself dressed when I somberly came in to our bedroom to give him the message. He asked me to read it to him. It said that the department was sorry, but he was permanently disqualified from the military because he has very bad teeth.
I was a little upset because my husband was going to be heading to Denver the next day (yesterday) to go back to MEPS and finish his physical.
“If Sgt. Miller is sending you back to Denver, and causing you at least half a week of missed work for nothing and he knows it he has a lot of explaining to do!” I declared.
He gave Sgt. Miller a call, and after Eric told him about the letter he just laughed it off.
“Oh don’t worry about that.” He said. “That’s why the physical has to be sent to a Surgeon General.”
Yesterday, Eric went to Denver to try to get a waiver. He will be gone until tomorrow at the earliest. He may not be home until Thursday.
Lord, I know he is scared, and worried. He has told me so on many occasions over the weekend. Please help him to stay calm and not to stress. I know that our lives are changing, and that our callings are calling, and that this is just one of the steps towards the new life we will be living. I know that the chances are becoming slimmer and slimmer that my husband will be in the army, but I know that if this is his purpose it will all work out.
We knew from the beginning that this would not be easy. No life changing decisions ever are easy, possibly simple but never easy. Thank you, Lord, for his persistence, and his courage to try so hard to accomplish this. Thank you for the courage he has shown in making this decision, which we know will cause him a lot of discomfort.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
FINALLY! Some News!
Whew! It has been a long week of waiting! Tensions were high around my apartment while we waited for a call from his recruiter.
On Friday and Saturday, my husband became rather mopey, sitting on my couch, reading and drinking a lot of coffee. Occassionaly he would say "Maybe if I had a higher ASVAB score." or "Maybe if I were younger." I would break in and point out that we hadn't gotten a "No" from the recruiter, and that it had only been a few days since he dropped off the paperwork for his teeth. "It has been almost a week" he would say "I'm 28 and I didn't have a great test score, and now I am asking them to help me with my teeth. I don't have high hope."
I told him on Friday that I was certain we would hear back from the recruiter, but that maybe we should think of other plans. We talked about a few things we may do if he is unable to join. But I kept possitive that we would soon know what was going on. After a while, I let it rest. Like many other occasions when we are forced to wait, and we are highly stressed, I just bunkered down and did not speak of the tender subject until I had a for sure answer.
That answer came today.
During my lunch, while I was handling a million other things (one of those rare occasions where I am not bored to tears on a Thursday) I got a call from my husband.
"I got a call from the recruiter. I go back to MEPS for my physical on Sunday. We will know what we are doing on Monday."
I had to rush him off the phone right then, but I am so happy that I can't wait to get home and talk to him this afternoon.
Thank you, God! I know I will soon be wrapping my arms around a stronger man in uniform. I can already feel the canvas material on my cheek as I lay my head on his chest and tell him how proud I am for all he has done for himself and his family. I will be writing him encouraging letters for boot camp. I can see him standing in salute on his graduation day.
On Friday and Saturday, my husband became rather mopey, sitting on my couch, reading and drinking a lot of coffee. Occassionaly he would say "Maybe if I had a higher ASVAB score." or "Maybe if I were younger." I would break in and point out that we hadn't gotten a "No" from the recruiter, and that it had only been a few days since he dropped off the paperwork for his teeth. "It has been almost a week" he would say "I'm 28 and I didn't have a great test score, and now I am asking them to help me with my teeth. I don't have high hope."
I told him on Friday that I was certain we would hear back from the recruiter, but that maybe we should think of other plans. We talked about a few things we may do if he is unable to join. But I kept possitive that we would soon know what was going on. After a while, I let it rest. Like many other occasions when we are forced to wait, and we are highly stressed, I just bunkered down and did not speak of the tender subject until I had a for sure answer.
That answer came today.
During my lunch, while I was handling a million other things (one of those rare occasions where I am not bored to tears on a Thursday) I got a call from my husband.
"I got a call from the recruiter. I go back to MEPS for my physical on Sunday. We will know what we are doing on Monday."
I had to rush him off the phone right then, but I am so happy that I can't wait to get home and talk to him this afternoon.
Thank you, God! I know I will soon be wrapping my arms around a stronger man in uniform. I can already feel the canvas material on my cheek as I lay my head on his chest and tell him how proud I am for all he has done for himself and his family. I will be writing him encouraging letters for boot camp. I can see him standing in salute on his graduation day.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Teeth
We got my hubby's teeth checked for a quote. His teeth would cost just under $6,000.00 to fix! He would need four root canals with stainless steel teeth, a deep cleaning, and several fillings. Years of neglect on top of bad teeth genes have really added up!At work yesterday his co-worker started planting seeds of doubt because of this big bill. He came home disheartened and made the comment "Maybe if I had a higher ASVAB score they would take me."I didn't know what to say. I told him I didn't even want to consider the possibility of him not going.This is our time, I feel our lives changing. No, we may not have exactly what we expected in the end. If he does or does not go in is not what is important. What is impportant is the CHANGE.All the changes I have been working on in our attitudes towards life, money and work are begining to show in our lives. We will accept the blessings as they come, even if we misread what they will be.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Bright Side
There are many things in our lives that happen to us which we say we do not want. Death, breakups, lost friendships, accidents, sickness, etc. most people simply react to this with anger, sorrow, frustration, etc. The problem with this is that when you react to your situation, you only bring more of these feelings into your life. When you are sad, does giving into the sadness and throwing a fit really help your situation? No! Does it make you feel better? Not really.
I remember a while back when I became Overwhelmed and sat on my floor crying. The more I cried, the more I wanted to cry. Of course it didn't help that my daughter kept saying "Don't Cry Mommy!" with her own little eyes welling up.
When someone reacts to their surroundings they hurt themselves by perpetuating the bad emotions. You are telling your subconscious brain "This is the kind of situation that makes me feel bad." so your subconscious replies "Better keep feeling bad then!"
In other words, the more miserable you are, the more miserable you become.
You see, the human brain is made up of two parts: Your animal side (also known as your subconscious) and your human side. Your animal side is enormous. It is a database which remembers every slight detail of every experience. This is here to help you operate automatically in any normal circumstance. Your human side is what causes you to consciously consider situations and information.
The problem most reactive people run into is that they are on auto-pilot. They are animals. They only access their human side on rare occasions when their experience is something their animal side hasn't got a complete answer to.
When we experience our world, the best way to experience something new, or that we perceive as bad, is to look at the experience from our human side. This is more than just "looking at the bright side". This is making the conscious choice to continue at an emotion which is neutral, even in times when unexpected troubles come your way.
Children react to their environment like a victim. If they get in trouble for hiding in the closet with a bag full of candy, they react. Even when they did something they knew they shouldn't do, they assume the position of victim, and begin to blame their environment for their reaction. "I wouldn't have thrown a fit if my candy wasn't taken from me! It is your fault that I am upset!"
Many adults react this way as well. Take for example a young man who gets involved in an accident because he was not watching where he was going. When the officer starts writing him a ticket, he starts flying off the handle "I never even saw him! He was in a blind spot! I couldn't help but hit him!"
I know that some times I have had many "bad" things hit me all at the same time. In these situations I often get overwhelmed, and I want to just curl up in a ball and cry. Funny thing about it is the fact that giving in to these feelings does nothing for the situation. When I throw my little fits for the world to see, all that I achieve is smeared makeup and people around me saying things like "I am so sorry. I don't know what to do..."
So, what do we do? We stop. We take a step back. We disconnect and look at it from an objective point of view. We need to ask ourselves what we need out of this situation, ask God for help, tell your brain that it will be okay and let go. Don't stress. When you stress you push the remedy away by seeing only tithe problem. Give it to God and trust that it will all work out.
God will never give you more than you are prepared to handle. All the tools you need to conquer every situation you have locked away, waiting for you access.
I remember a while back when I became Overwhelmed and sat on my floor crying. The more I cried, the more I wanted to cry. Of course it didn't help that my daughter kept saying "Don't Cry Mommy!" with her own little eyes welling up.
When someone reacts to their surroundings they hurt themselves by perpetuating the bad emotions. You are telling your subconscious brain "This is the kind of situation that makes me feel bad." so your subconscious replies "Better keep feeling bad then!"
In other words, the more miserable you are, the more miserable you become.
You see, the human brain is made up of two parts: Your animal side (also known as your subconscious) and your human side. Your animal side is enormous. It is a database which remembers every slight detail of every experience. This is here to help you operate automatically in any normal circumstance. Your human side is what causes you to consciously consider situations and information.
The problem most reactive people run into is that they are on auto-pilot. They are animals. They only access their human side on rare occasions when their experience is something their animal side hasn't got a complete answer to.
When we experience our world, the best way to experience something new, or that we perceive as bad, is to look at the experience from our human side. This is more than just "looking at the bright side". This is making the conscious choice to continue at an emotion which is neutral, even in times when unexpected troubles come your way.
Children react to their environment like a victim. If they get in trouble for hiding in the closet with a bag full of candy, they react. Even when they did something they knew they shouldn't do, they assume the position of victim, and begin to blame their environment for their reaction. "I wouldn't have thrown a fit if my candy wasn't taken from me! It is your fault that I am upset!"
Many adults react this way as well. Take for example a young man who gets involved in an accident because he was not watching where he was going. When the officer starts writing him a ticket, he starts flying off the handle "I never even saw him! He was in a blind spot! I couldn't help but hit him!"
I know that some times I have had many "bad" things hit me all at the same time. In these situations I often get overwhelmed, and I want to just curl up in a ball and cry. Funny thing about it is the fact that giving in to these feelings does nothing for the situation. When I throw my little fits for the world to see, all that I achieve is smeared makeup and people around me saying things like "I am so sorry. I don't know what to do..."
So, what do we do? We stop. We take a step back. We disconnect and look at it from an objective point of view. We need to ask ourselves what we need out of this situation, ask God for help, tell your brain that it will be okay and let go. Don't stress. When you stress you push the remedy away by seeing only tithe problem. Give it to God and trust that it will all work out.
God will never give you more than you are prepared to handle. All the tools you need to conquer every situation you have locked away, waiting for you access.
An Introduction to the Basics of "The Law of Attraction"
There are a couple schools of thinking on the subject of the law. There is, of course the rookie belief that if you just think really hard on something it will come to you. There is the belief that you wanted everything that you have in your life, the good and the bad. There is also the belief that you expected everything that you have in your life, good, or bad.
I myself personally believe a blend of all of them.
It has been my experience with this interesting phenomenon that when I expect something to happen, it does not necessarily mean I want it. I do not want health problems; we do not want the people we love to leave us. But when we have a fear, and nurse that fear, even somewhere below our immediate consciousness, we begin to prepare ourselves for it.
Take the teenage girl who is dating her first boyfriend. It's true love! She is going to marry this boy. In fact, they have a wedding day set, and he is going to whisk her away to Paris and they will live happily ever after. Then, the relationship begins to cool. She becomes a little insecure/ He may have given her no reason to worry, but in the back of her mind, the grim reality of teen love is setting in. She begins to wonder, what would happen if he did break up with me?
She tells her friend one night on the phone “OH I would just DIE! My heart would break! I would never love again! I would be devastated and I would lock myself in my room and cry for days!”
Then it happens. He decides he likes her friend (the one she was talking to on the phone the night before), and he dumps her. She feels like she’s just going to DIE! Her heart is broken. She swears she will never love again! She is devastated and she locks herself in her room and cries for days! She does exactly what she expected to do!
Here is a question: do YOU believe you control the world? More specifically, are you willing to believe that you control YOUR world? If you are in total control of your life, no matter how your life is, this means there is no one left to blame but you.
You are in control of your habits and addictions
You are in control of your financial status
You are responsible for your career and work status
You are responsible for your vehicles.
This is a scary concept, but one I think we all must consider. Why is it that we are so willing to jump on blaming someone else for our failure?
A few months back, the company I work for fired an employee. After he was let go, he left nasty letters for his fellow employees blaming THEM for his being fired. About a month and a half later he called the owner of the company and left a message blaming the owner for the loss of his house because he was fired. Does he not see that if he would have treated his position in the company with a little more respect and maturity none of this would have happened to him? No, because to see your life as your responsibility means to accept that you made a mistake and that you could have done better.
I myself personally believe a blend of all of them.
It has been my experience with this interesting phenomenon that when I expect something to happen, it does not necessarily mean I want it. I do not want health problems; we do not want the people we love to leave us. But when we have a fear, and nurse that fear, even somewhere below our immediate consciousness, we begin to prepare ourselves for it.
Take the teenage girl who is dating her first boyfriend. It's true love! She is going to marry this boy. In fact, they have a wedding day set, and he is going to whisk her away to Paris and they will live happily ever after. Then, the relationship begins to cool. She becomes a little insecure/ He may have given her no reason to worry, but in the back of her mind, the grim reality of teen love is setting in. She begins to wonder, what would happen if he did break up with me?
She tells her friend one night on the phone “OH I would just DIE! My heart would break! I would never love again! I would be devastated and I would lock myself in my room and cry for days!”
Then it happens. He decides he likes her friend (the one she was talking to on the phone the night before), and he dumps her. She feels like she’s just going to DIE! Her heart is broken. She swears she will never love again! She is devastated and she locks herself in her room and cries for days! She does exactly what she expected to do!
Here is a question: do YOU believe you control the world? More specifically, are you willing to believe that you control YOUR world? If you are in total control of your life, no matter how your life is, this means there is no one left to blame but you.
You are in control of your habits and addictions
You are in control of your financial status
You are responsible for your career and work status
You are responsible for your vehicles.
This is a scary concept, but one I think we all must consider. Why is it that we are so willing to jump on blaming someone else for our failure?
A few months back, the company I work for fired an employee. After he was let go, he left nasty letters for his fellow employees blaming THEM for his being fired. About a month and a half later he called the owner of the company and left a message blaming the owner for the loss of his house because he was fired. Does he not see that if he would have treated his position in the company with a little more respect and maturity none of this would have happened to him? No, because to see your life as your responsibility means to accept that you made a mistake and that you could have done better.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
